Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Varied / Hobbyist Juliet M.25/Female/Israel Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 181 Deviations 4,000 Comments 31,550 Pageviews
×

Newest Deviations

Maly :iconjuliet-m:Juliet-M 2 0 Star Trek - Jim Kirk WIP1 :iconjuliet-m:Juliet-M 1 0 Stiles - Riddled :iconjuliet-m:Juliet-M 7 3 Riddled GIF :iconjuliet-m:Juliet-M 16 2 Alan Rickman :iconjuliet-m:Juliet-M 27 9 Never Trust A Fox :iconjuliet-m:Juliet-M 33 0 Let Me In, Stiles!!! :iconjuliet-m:Juliet-M 49 7 Naughty Santa :iconjuliet-m:Juliet-M 25 2 Hey, Jared... :iconjuliet-m:Juliet-M 29 0 What the hell is a ''Stiles''? :iconjuliet-m:Juliet-M 31 4 Han Solo :iconjuliet-m:Juliet-M 22 3 Sleepy Stiles :iconjuliet-m:Juliet-M 32 5 Void!Stiles :iconjuliet-m:Juliet-M 23 0 Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy :iconjuliet-m:Juliet-M 7 3 Groot :iconjuliet-m:Juliet-M 22 1 Deadpool :iconjuliet-m:Juliet-M 21 2
:dalove:My very own gallery...:gallery: Hope you'll enjoy visiting it!:deviation:

Random Favourites

WFE premiere - RP :iconnylfn:nylfn 11 8 Birds In Paradise :iconlittleseasparrow:LittleSeaSparrow 85 65 Robert Pattinson :iconreolart:ReolArt 31 5 Kristen :iconxxandreeaxd:xxAndreeaxD 19 5 Robert Pattinson :iconnylfn:nylfn 19 11 Rio Kiss :iconmokchik:Mokchik 46 11 Half you - half me :iconcylonka:cylonka 126 33 Wedding Sketch :iconlittleseasparrow:LittleSeaSparrow 45 19 Small Breaking Dawn Kiss :iconlittleseasparrow:LittleSeaSparrow 106 61 Jacob Jankowski :iconnylfn:nylfn 20 6 Rob wallpaper :iconnylfn:nylfn 16 5 When The Leaves Fall Down :iconlittleseasparrow:LittleSeaSparrow 145 76 A Princess And A Horse - SWATH :iconlittleseasparrow:LittleSeaSparrow 227 47 Rob in Paris - TF1 :iconnylfn:nylfn 12 2 Robert_12 :iconsundowncaress:SundownCaress 10 0 We are guilty of our pleasure. :iconpomme-coquine:Pomme-Coquine 26 0
Greatest works of my favorite authors!!!:iconbeauroseplz:

Journal History

Groups

Friends

Donate

Juliet-M has started a donation pool!
130 / 500
Donate me a few points if you like my works or just have nothing better to do...:D I wish I could get a Premium Membership...

You must be logged in to donate.
  • :iconjoe-maccer:
    Joe-Maccer
    Donated Apr 29, 2014, 1:43:22 PM
    9
  • :iconsyrenmoon:
    syrenmoon
    Donated Dec 12, 2012, 2:01:50 PM
    50
  • :iconskartleng:
    Skartleng
    Donated Jun 9, 2012, 5:49:27 AM
    10
  • :iconelectrichyena:
    electrichyena
    Donated May 6, 2012, 9:41:25 AM
    5
  • :iconnackmu:
    nackmu
    Donated Jan 17, 2012, 11:31:24 AM
    20
  • :iconsuninthedark:
    suninthedark
    Donated Jan 13, 2012, 6:30:16 AM
    5
  • :iconpondinthetardis:
    PondInTheTardis
    Donated Dec 17, 2011, 11:46:19 AM
    5
  • :iconteamcharlieswan:
    TeamCharlieSwan
    Donated Dec 12, 2011, 3:28:53 PM
    1
  • :iconsofiesworld:
    SofiesWorld
    Donated Dec 12, 2011, 1:18:00 PM
    2
  • :iconteamcharlieswan:
    TeamCharlieSwan
    Donated Dec 12, 2011, 9:15:05 AM
    3

Activity


It's been almost a year since my last entry, and I think I have a really good reason for writing it.
Today is quite special day for me, cause tonight I finally felt something.

That's it.

Sounds pretty easy - to feel. I wouldn't say so. And it's not that I was depressed or something, not at all. I had a pretty good year: I went abroad to Germany for 2 weeks, I cleaned my head before going back to college after a year of absence. I watched many movies and TV series, went to cinema at least once or twice a month, went out with friends for a beer almost every week. Just enjoyed my life at it fullest.

It all felt good, but nothing of it felt right.

I just couldn't feel anything.

Love? No. Jealousy? Nah. Any kind of affection? Not in the slightest. 

I know it must sound weird, whiny and unrealistic (boo-hoo, claiming to be unemotional, yet crying into your journal), but I don't remember when was the last time I cried, with it not being caused by the physical pain, but because I felt something for someone or because of someone. There were a few times I wanted to cry, but nothing came out. Fuck, even when I attended a funeral a month ago, seeing all those people crying and one of my best friends breaking down, sobbing uncontrollably in front of me made me feel just empty inside. Empathy? Yeah, of course, there was something, but not strong enough to show it, and I never was a good actress.

Some people say I'm stoic, my mom says it's not healthy to keep everything bottled up inside. Maybe. How the fuck am I supposed to do this? To let lose feelings that are not in there?...


But it's not that important, because as I said earlier, I did feel something tonight. I watched "Manchester By The Sea" and suddenly I was in tears, almost from the beginning of the movie. But it didn't feel like watching a movie at all. It felt as if I'm watching someone just going on with his life (with sorrowful flashbacks shown in between) and I couldn't tear my eyes away from the screen. How sad is that, that the most powerful feelings I've felt in more than a year was bought by some movie starring Casey Affleck???... No disrespect to Casey Affleck, he's a tremendously good actor, very talented, but that's not my point.

Ok, enough with all that crap. The longer I write this, the more I dislike myself for the weakness. Writing a journal always made me feel better and worse at the same time. Feels so good to let these things out of my chest, but at the same time cannot not to despise myself for this weakness...
  • Listening to: Adagio in G Minor - Albinoni
  • Reading: Jo Nesbø - The Redbreast
  • Watching: Manchester By The Sea
  • Eating: Sugar Coated Peanuts
It's been almost a year since my last entry, and I think I have a really good reason for writing it.
Today is quite special day for me, cause tonight I finally felt something.

That's it.

Sounds pretty easy - to feel. I wouldn't say so. And it's not that I was depressed or something, not at all. I had a pretty good year: I went abroad to Germany for 2 weeks, I cleaned my head before going back to college after a year of absence. I watched many movies and TV series, went to cinema at least once or twice a month, went out with friends for a beer almost every week. Just enjoyed my life at it fullest.

It all felt good, but nothing of it felt right.

I just couldn't feel anything.

Love? No. Jealousy? Nah. Any kind of affection? Not in the slightest. 

I know it must sound weird, whiny and unrealistic (boo-hoo, claiming to be unemotional, yet crying into your journal), but I don't remember when was the last time I cried, with it not being caused by the physical pain, but because I felt something for someone or because of someone. There were a few times I wanted to cry, but nothing came out. Fuck, even when I attended a funeral a month ago, seeing all those people crying and one of my best friends breaking down, sobbing uncontrollably in front of me made me feel just empty inside. Empathy? Yeah, of course, there was something, but not strong enough to show it, and I never was a good actress.

Some people say I'm stoic, my mom says it's not healthy to keep everything bottled up inside. Maybe. How the fuck am I supposed to do this? To let lose feelings that are not in there?...


But it's not that important, because as I said earlier, I did feel something tonight. I watched "Manchester By The Sea" and suddenly I was in tears, almost from the beginning of the movie. But it didn't feel like watching a movie at all. It felt as if I'm watching someone just going on with his life (with sorrowful flashbacks shown in between) and I couldn't tear my eyes away from the screen. How sad is that, that the most powerful feelings I've felt in more than a year was bought by some movie starring Casey Affleck???... No disrespect to Casey Affleck, he's a tremendously good actor, very talented, but that's not my point.

Ok, enough with all that crap. The longer I write this, the more I dislike myself for the weakness. Writing a journal always made me feel better and worse at the same time. Feels so good to let these things out of my chest, but at the same time cannot not to despise myself for this weakness...
  • Listening to: Adagio in G Minor - Albinoni
  • Reading: Jo Nesbø - The Redbreast
  • Watching: Manchester By The Sea
  • Eating: Sugar Coated Peanuts

deviantID

Juliet-M
Juliet M.
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Israel
You can always connect with me on English, Russian and Hebrew languages!!!;P

Current Residence: Israel
Favourite genre of music: Rock
Favourite photographer: Anyone, who can take a picture of me so that I did not look ugly...:P
Favourite style of art: Pencil drawing
Operating System: Windows 10
Favourite cartoon character: Stewie & Brian Griffin, Bart Simpson, Daria Morgendorfer, Archer
Personal Quote: I don't have low self esteem, I just have low esteem for everyone else.
Interests

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconkatsur:
Katsur Featured By Owner May 13, 2016   Digital Artist
Hi. Thanks for the fave! =)
Reply
:iconkynliod:
kynliod Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2016  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks ever so much!  =)
Reply
:iconhelenesaether:
HeleneSaether Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the +fav Hug 
Reply
:icondragonfireart:
DragonFireArt Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fav! :D
Reply
:iconeeddey:
Eeddey Featured By Owner Edited Feb 16, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for adding Dylan O'Brien by Eeddey to your Favorites! :happybounce:
Reply
Add a Comment: